Posted in poetry, random, Uncategorized

the caged man

I feel like I’m inside a cage–

A four-walled cage with no roof. Every step I take, every turn my head makes, the walls in this cage compress – tightening the space around me. Every time I look up – hoping to steal a glance of the blue, vast sky – I see faces of people I don’t even know.

And what’s worse?

They’re whispering at each other’s ears, look at me in amusement, then laugh. Their laughter were just so shrill I can hear them over and over again – growing louder every minute. I want to escape but I can’t. I just can’t.

Why?

My hands and feet were tied behind my back by metal cuffs, clasped to a wall.

Ah. I remember now who did all of this to me. It was them. No, not the faces clouding and covering the sky but them, who were much closer to me. I told them about my fascinating dreams and breath-taking adventures right under their noses… but they didn’t believe me. One day, I asked for a drink, it was a while before they came back. And when I drank, I feel like my head’s being blown away from my body. Crying, a woman came to me, held my face, and said: “Sorry, but we have to do this for your sake.

Her voice was too melancholic and gloomy that I can hear it over and over again.

It was too painful for my ears but I can’t stop its playing over and over again – growing louder every second, every minute.

florence

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Posted in love, poetry, random, Uncategorized

the metaphors of missing you

It’s 2 AM and my thoughts are eating me.

I take a deep breath and I hope I can trace it with my pen because he said that every breath of mine is beautiful… like the wind gushing around in the playground I used to slide and swing and dance and play.

Then I smile at the words my pen is making and I hope I can draw it for him–no, not my words, but my smile– because he said he likes my smile and it brightens his day… like the silver-colored jacket of the moon at night and the intoxicating flames of the sun at noon.

And then I stare at my ceiling–realizing something. I miss him so badly that I cry. I hope I can frame my tears for him because I know he’ll find them wonderful… like the spectacular ‘Starry Night‘ of Van Gogh, like the glistening pieces of a crystal and the enchanting drops of snow and rain.

Even though I don’t find my tears pretty, I know he’ll love them.

Even if I find them frustrating and infuriating… for they resemble my sadness, anger, hatred, and fear. I don’t see them enchanting like the snow or rain because I see them as broken shards of glass, pleading to be fixed. So I don’t know why he likes my tears. But he said he does and I believe him because my tears also symbolize my happiness which he gives me every hour, every minute, every second of every day.

And I miss him… like the cold drops of rain being missed by the suffocating desert, like the air I tried to find on the surface when I was drowning… the cotton-like comfort I always find in writing and talking to him.

And I hope he misses me too like the ink of a pen begging to kiss the paper. Like a kite–unable to speak–itching to soar in midair…

And like the way I miss him that I used tons of objects and adjectives just to say I miss him.

florence

Posted in poetry, random, Uncategorized

the dream

The cold breeze kissed my bare shoulders

And it was cold but it was nice

I looked around and found a shelter

A bit small but it would do just for tonight

Somehow it felt like home

Even though i don’t know this place

I looked around and laughed at my case

Everything was just behind my back

It’s been years and I only got the courage now

I left everyone and everything behind

This was all wrong and foul

But I’ve been dreaming about this–

Of seeing the city lights,

Just because of my own feet

I loved to go before

But I’d love to go now

Exhausted, I stretched my legs on the bed

I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep

I didn’t dream of anything

But I dreamt of voices – crying out loud

I opened my eyes to see

That they were gathered around a white bed

With white blankets and white-dressed people

Who were staring on the bed with nothing but me.

florence

Posted in poetry, random, Uncategorized

broken.

I am a broken soul. I am a broken person made of a broken heart, broken bones, broken organs, broken tissues, and broken tears, too.

I can’t find my happiness – it’s missing. I forgot how to smile and laugh and have fun. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.

Should I end it? Or should I continue living?

But nobody will cry for someone broken like me. No one would be there at my funeral. For I have no friends. I don’t have a family. This life I’m living…feels like I’m slowly dying every hour, every minute, every second even when I’m breathing.

It’s like I’m inhaling poison. It’s like I’m the persona of a sad poem. It’s like I’m the subject of a disturbingly heartbreaking song. It’s like I’m the girl in this certain painting of a crying person.

This life I’m living… Should I end it? No one would care anyway if I die.

For I am a broken soul made of a broken heart, broken bones, broken organs, broken tissues, and broken tears, too.

florence

Posted in random, Uncategorized

Strings.

The Chinese legend has it that the two people connected by this thread will have an important story, regardless of the time, place or circumstances. The red string might get tangled, contracted or stretched, as surely often happens, but it can never break.

Destiny at kismet. Ilan lang sa mga salitang naikakabit sa “red strings of fate“. Ayon sa paniniwala ng mga Chinese, may pulang sinulid na nakatali sa mga hinliliit ng bawat tao – na pinaniniwalaang may maliit na ugat na nakadugtong sa puso.

It’s been said that the said strings glow when they finally find their perfect match. But the red strings are invisible from the naked eye.

Pupuwede silang mabuhol o magkalayo pero gagawa at gagawa sila ng paraan para mahanap ang karugtong nila.

I’m a big believer of the famous quote, “Everything happens for a reason” – thus, making me also a believer of the red strings of fate.

Bakit may mga naniniwala sa mga ganoong teorya ganoong hindi naman natin nakikita ang mga pulang sinulid na iyon? Bakit may mga naniniwala gano’ng hindi naman napapatunayan na mayroon talagang destined at fated sa isa’t isa?

Dahil may mga nangyayari sa pang-araw araw na nagpapatunay niyon na kahit ako, ay nakakaranas.

Katulad na lang kahapon, no’ng sumakay ako sa pangalawang jeep.

Medyo nagtaka ako nang mapansin kong pito sa siyam na mga kapwa ko pasahero ay nakasabay ko rin sa naunang jeep na sinakyan ko. I mean, oo, pare-pareho siguro kami ng daan pauwi pero… Bakit sa dinami-dami ng jeep na nandoon, do’n pa sila sumakay sa kung nasaan ako? Bakit sa dinami-dami ng jeep na nandoon, do’n ko pa naisipan sumakay sa kung nasaan sila?

Kung magkakaroon siguro ako ng listahan ng mga bakit? at what if’s ko sa buhay… The list would probably be endless.

I mean… Katulad na lang ng mga mag-asawa. For example, when people ask a married couple where they met, the guy would tell them that he met his wife at a coffee shop and approached her as she was sipping her coffee with her eyebrows knitted together for she was reading Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird.

Just what if his wife wasn’t reading To Kill A Mockingbird? Will he still approach her? What if she went to the coffee shop 30 minutes late? What if she decided not to get coffee that day? What if the husband thought of staying at home instead of getting coffee outside?

Will they be able to see each other, know each other’s names, be a couple, and then get married?

Probably no. And probably yes… because destiny will find a way if they’re meant to meet and get married.

The questions and the possibilities are endless…

But the thing is, “What’s meant to be is meant to be.

florence

Posted in Uncategorized

People are prettiest when. . .

People are prettiest when they’re smiling. People are prettiest when they frown and pout because their favorite foods are all sold out. We are prettiest whenever we commit funny mistakes then laugh at them instead of feeling bad.

Ilan lang ang mga iyan sa mga bagay na na-realize ko no’ng nakita kong sumimangot iyong lolo na bibili sana sa’min ng siopao kaso naubusan siya.

Oo, nagbebenta kami. At oo, nacute-an ako kay lolo.

Ever since that day, inaabangan ko na’ng bumili si Lolo. Minsan pa nga eh, pati iyong saging na para sana sa fruit shakes namin eh napagdidiskitahan niyang bilhin. Pinagbibigyan na rin namin siya, matanda na kasi eh.

I just thought that it’s not everyday I see a person like that. It might not be a big deal for others pero sakin, oo, big deal iyon.

Because these are just few things that make us humans. And not everyone notices the teeny tiny bits in our being that makes us human.

For example, not everyone notices how my shoulders shake whenever I laugh. Not everyone notices how my eyes smile along with the twitching of the corners of my lips. Not everyone finds the creasing of my forehead entertaining. Not everyone can notice the tapping of my fingers whenever I’m listening to my favorite songs.

Not everyone notices the proofs that we can feel – happiness, sadness, anger, fear, desperation, love…kahit ano pang emotions ‘yan. Siguro nga’t totoo iyong nabasa kong post sa Facebook na may mga emotion tayong mga tao na hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin napapangalanan.

But the point is, we can feel those emotions – may tawag man sa kanila o wala.

At kaya rin siguro tayo gano’n magmahal…because we think that our ‘significant others’ consider us humans and appreciate even our unwanted mannerisms, hobbies, and physical attributes.

florence